We’ve all done it – we are charging along the path of making a change in our personal life or career. It is going SO well and then, you hear a screeching halt. It may be an obstacle put there by someone else; an unforeseen difficulty; financial issue or any other of a myriad of things that can hamper progress.
So, we just stop and tell ourselves that ‘it wasn’t supposed to happen’. And, that it must be our lot in life.
Truth be told – yes, all those excuses can be real and, they need to be examined (more on that later). However, I do think the real reason that we don’t move forward is a fear of failure. We are taught at an early age to avoid risk-taking and for many of us – the status quo works just ‘fine’.
But, what if you want more than ‘fine’?
What if you want life to be something spectacular? Henry David Thoreau said it best “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation, and go to the grave with the song still in them.”
Let me state this loud for everyone to hear.
Not only do I want to go to my grave with my song gone – I want to be hoarse as well. To be able to live a life like that would be a dream come true.
We always equate success with the lack of failure. We really need to change that attitude. Malcolm Forbes stated that “Failure is success if we learn from it.” So, rather than damning the failures – look at what stopped your before and see if there are ways that you can overcome the hurdles. For example, when I first started out blogging about health and wellness – I had no training on how to put together a webpage. My first attempt was absolutely horrid – I didn’t even want to read it. This hurdle stopped me for months. But, that little voice inside my head kept telling me that I needed to pursue it. Now, I could have told that ‘little voice’ to pipe down for a number of reasons –(I am not talented enough; no one would listen to me; I don’t have the time to learn html coding – etc.) But, by constantly thinking about it, I did finally learn one thing – did I have to do this by myself? Could I hire someone? By asking those questions and reframing the problem, I was able to find someone who updated the entire website (quite economically) – and, I was on my way.
Am I now where I want to be? Not yet – I would like to get clients who are interested in coaching and improving their overall lives. Again – fear is telling me that no one would want to use me. I am old(er) and unknown. So, now what do I do to get around these issues?
Here are my ideas for moving me to my next goal?
- First, stop tying my self-worth to the outcome. By doing so, I can open up to new possibilities and creative ways to get around those obstacles that I am putting in front of me.
- Next, I need to try to understand why I am fearful. And, this is where self-honesty comes into play. If I truly feel called to do this (and, I do) – is it due to a fear of rejection? People laughing at me?
- Then, once I understand why I am fearful, it becomes time to confront the fear and then determine what would be the outcome if I don’t pursue this goal. From all that I have read, people who enjoy success will continue to have the fear – but, they will look for ways to overcome it.
- Finally, start taking action. Even a small step will help me gain momentum towards achieving my dreams.
So, it is time – time to clear the vocal chords and start singing! Am I fearful? Darn straight I am!