There comes a time when each one of us must confront our deepest self and have the courage to ask “Am I being honest with myself?”. It oftentimes takes guts and you may not like what you uncover – but, it is critical for becoming a more mature, and frankly, caring individual.
I am going down that road right now – and, I will admit, I am not always as honest with myself as I can be. This is not to state that I am self-delusional – it just means that there are certain areas of my life where, if held under a microscope would not pass the ‘red-faced’ test. I am uncomfortable with that.
I have no intention of doing a massive soul-bearing here. Actually, that would be self-serving – and, you don’t to read my problems – but, I would like to give a couple of examples:
1. I always tell myself that I eat incredibly healthy and that I rarely deviate. And, while that may have a ‘bit’ of truth to it – I am definitely more inconsistent than not. Looking at this, I feel hypocritical, and not very supportive of others who may be struggling – after all – isn’t it easy for me? I ask myself the question “If I can show that I struggle, then wouldn’t I be a better support coach?”. But, my ego demands of me that I maintain this ‘farce-like’ aura of ‘perfection’. Therefore, I think that my ego needs a time-out and I need to really assess why I am not being honest.
2. I like to think of myself as open to ideas. And, in certain things I am – but, on other items – let’s just state that I am incredibly opinionated (my mother would definitely agree). One can say that I get it from a specific ‘side of the family’ (my mother would agree on this as well). I don’t believe that this is a genetic issue – rather a learned response. It is one that I need to address. I am not always open – and, not giving others the chance to air their viewpoints is arrogance on my part. Not one of us holds the key to Truth.
To that end, once this 70 challenge ends, I will be embarking on a 30 day journey of writing notes to myself. I am hoping that during that time, I can better understand why we humans have issues with self-honesty; what I would tell my younger self from what I’ve learned from life; what I may want to do differently – many topics to chose from. But, and I think it is also important, to be a cheerleader for the things we have all done well (and, we have)!
I hope you enjoy the journey. You may find out more about me than you want – but, maybe it may spur you to answer some of these questions in your life. So – buckle up!