There comes a time when each one of us must confront our deepest self and have the courage to ask “Am I being honest with myself?”. It oftentimes takes guts and you may not like what you uncover – but, it is critical for becoming a more mature, and frankly, caring individual.
I am going down that road right now – and, I will admit, I am not always as honest with myself as I can be. This is not to state that I am self-delusional – it just means that there are certain areas of my life where, if held under a microscope would not pass the ‘red-faced’ test. I am uncomfortable with that.
I have no intention of doing a massive soul-bearing here. Actually, that would be self-serving – and, you don’t to read my problems – but, I would like to give a couple of examples:
1. I always tell myself that I eat incredibly healthy and that I rarely deviate. And, while that may have a ‘bit’ of truth to it – I am definitely more inconsistent than not. Looking at this, I feel hypocritical, and not very supportive of others who may be struggling – after all – isn’t it easy for me? I ask myself the question “If I can show that I struggle, then wouldn’t I be a better support coach?”. But, my ego demands of me that I maintain this ‘farce-like’ aura of ‘perfection’. Therefore, I think that my ego needs a time-out and I need to really assess why I am not being honest.
2. I like to think of myself as open to ideas. And, in certain things I am – but, on other items – let’s just state that I am incredibly opinionated (my mother would definitely agree). One can say that I get it from a specific ‘side of the family’ (my mother would agree on this as well). I don’t believe that this is a genetic issue – rather a learned response. It is one that I need to address. I am not always open – and, not giving others the chance to air their viewpoints is arrogance on my part. Not one of us holds the key to Truth.
To that end, I am embarking on a 30 day journey of writing notes to myself. I am hoping that during that time, I can better understand why we humans have issues with self-honesty; what I would tell my younger self from what I’ve learned from life; what I may want to do differently – many topics to chose from. But, and I think it is also important, to be a cheerleader for the things we have all done well (and, we have)!
I hope you enjoy the journey. You may find out more about me than you want – but, maybe it may spur you to answer some of these questions in your life. So – buckle up!