Before we start making changes to our habits, we first need to consider why we want to make these changes. Multiple reasons abound – to look good for a reunion, vacation, and so on. Perhaps it is to get a ‘passive -aggressive’ revenge for someone who jilted us. There are many more examples of this type. But, these are short term reasons that won’t allow us to ‘hold the change’ and worse yet, they are based on other’s perception of you.
Your intention could be to feel better, have more energy, live longer – the list can continue. These are changes that you will do for yourself. Changes like this can have a lot more power to keep you moving forward, but you have to make them compelling and a matter of focus.
Your ‘intention’ becomes your ‘attention’ when your focus is aligned with it. But, we can get derailed, and even the best of intentions gets lost. Why?
- Fear. I am afraid that I will fail.
- Others. They won’t support me, or will sabotage me.
- Lack of motivation. The reason for the change is not compelling enough.
- Living in the past. I’ve always been this way.
- Impatience. We fail to love ourselves.
I am sure that there are others, but – let’s look at these major reasons in a bit more detail…
Fear. Fear does not help us to commit to higher aims. It is a tool for the ‘ego’s’ protection. Turn it around. Don’t worry about what can go wrong, but think about the magnificent things that could enter your life when you make the changes you want and pursue your dream.
Others. They often sabotage (our make comments) because of THEIR fears. These people have a misguided view of ‘helping’ you – but, many people have had their dreams snuffed out by a loved one’s worry. We can’t and must not live the life of other’s quiet desperation.
Lack of motivation. We don’t paint a compelling picture in our head, or write it down and look at that picture on a daily basis. We lose our focus because we are mired in things that are unimportant and don’t move us forward.
Living in the past. I think that financial advisors have it correct “past performance is no indication of future performance”. Forgive yourself for past failures. The present is all that there is. Become more alert and engaged in this world. You can learn from the past – but, don’t get roped into resentment about old situations.
Impatience. We want the ‘fast fix’ that our society craves. Yet, we didn’t get where we were in a day. We need to love and accept ourselves where we are now – not when we reach a certain goal. You are uniquely made, and not an accident. Embrace that truth.
So, in order to become clear on our intent – here’s the homework. Answer these questions (preferably in writing so that you can review them daily).
– What do I want to achieve?
– What will happen if I don’t change?
– What will I gain if I do change?
– What steps must I take to sustain these changes?
– How might these changes positively impact others?
Whether you can, or you can’t – you’re right. If you are committed – get it in your head, make it real and decide that you want a compelling future for yourself.
AKA The Cave Woman Diva